Your Vows and God's Vows

Seven truths to free you from faulty vows

Have you ever made a vow to yourself? How is your current decision making influenced by your past experiences?

Vows are part of the human existence. God made us in His image, and God Himself makes vows. Some vows are public as in marriage, or a contract. Far more often, however, we enter into a private, silent vow with ourselves. We resolve something in our own minds, such as, “I learned my lesson, and I will never do that again.” Some vows are important and good to keep, but others are harmful and detrimental and contribute to poor decision making.

God’s first words to mankind were words of blessing and delight (Genesis 1:28-31). God made another vow after the Fall of Man in Genesis 3:15, a vow made to the serpent or Satan. “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” God vowed to send us a Savior through one of Eve’s offspring who would defeat Satan. God’s vows are just, good, and true, and we can count on them.

Our vows are not so reliable, and many times they come from a false perception of reality. We assign meaning to events that happened and we vow to live differently based on that meaning. But what if the meaning we are finding from our interpretation of the past is faulty? We need to do some hard work to find out where our errors may lie for optimal health, happiness, and wise living.

I am in a season of massive life change, and I am realizing that I have a set of values and vows related to my past which influence all of my decisions. For example, I failed an algebra quiz once in 6^th grade. My dad saw my quiz when I got home from school and he gave me a very angry lecture on the importance of getting good grades. I was so sad and miserable in that moment that I made a vow to myself never to fail a quiz or test again. My perception of the situation in that moment was that I would suffer the loss of love and acceptance by those who were closest to me if I ever failed. Now, almost 40 years later, I still fear failure more than anything else, and I hold that vow in my subconscious mind.

Failure will inevitably happen in my life, so I need some way of coping with it. I need resilience and courage to face it without shutting down. If my fear of failure were to become crippling, I would not be able to address it unless I went back to that moment. The right answer to my situation is not that I must prevent failure at all costs (which is humanly impossible), but that I must go back and change my perception of that traumatic moment in my past.

My interpretation of the meaning of my failed quiz in 6^th grade was that failure results in a permanent loss of love and relationship, and security and success are linked. Today, my behavior reflects that perception. I hate taking risks because if I fail, I will lose everything in my mind. I hold myself to perfectionistic standards so I can avoid failure. I wake up with a sense of dread because I am afraid to fail.

In order to be a happier, healthier person, I am going back to that moment in 6^th grade and I am telling myself that my dad was not going to abandon me if I failed again. I can think of many times he spoke his approval and blessing on my life. Best of all, I have the assurance that God is giving me His approval in Christ. If I can preach to my heart in that moment, I can see my perception changing and I can get rid of that crushing burden from my vow.

How about you? Have you experienced a difficult moment that spurred you to make a vow to yourself? What was your interpretation of the meaning of your situation in that moment? Did you think of yourself in a negative way, maybe that you had no worth, or that you were abandoned or neglected?

Here are seven amazing Bible passages to help us go back to those moments and preach truth to our hearts from God. He never breaks a vow or a promise because He is God. His covenant with us is secure—the New Covenant we have in Jesus, inaugurated by His blood, and guaranteed by the resurrection of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit living in every believer.

When you were worried you might make the wrong decision:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.” -Proverbs 3:5-7

When you felt neglected, abandoned, or worthless:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” -Isaiah 43:1-3

When you wondered how God could stay faithful to you, because you kept failing Him:

“‘For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you.” -Isaiah 54:10

When you were betrayed or rejected: (picture Jesus washing your feet just as He was about to be betrayed)

“Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was around him.”-John 13:1-5

When failure was a possibility, and you were afraid of losing everything:

“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done.” -Matthew 16:25-26

When you wondered if everything would turn out ok for you in the end:

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” -Ephesians 3:20-21

When you felt like God could never forgive you for breaking that vow to Him again and again:

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” -1 John 1:7-9

I pray that God will reveal our false perceptions and bad interpretations of our life events so we can give up faulty vows. Let this be your new vow: As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD (Joshua 24:15).

Father, let your light shine into the dark places of our past and give us freedom and life. Let our heart’s desire be to serve you. Jesus, we see your humble obedience and love for our sake, and we are filled with awe, wonder, and gratitude. Let our delight be to do your will, and our joy and hope be in our union with Christ and to His Body, the Church. All glory be to You now and forever. Amen.